I sat for fifteen minutes staring at the blank screen before typing these words. I have thoughts, lots of them, but today they are all chaotic and fleeting and like shadows you see in corners at night...dim. And this week I've had such a difficult time focusing on anything. One minute I'm reading, one minute I'm skimming Instagram, one minute I'm watching a YouTube video on cheese.
Ever get like that?
I'm having trouble focusing on making jewelry, too. I've been out of the routine for ten years so I feel like I have to run like hell to catch up and I keep falling down, so that tells me I need to slow down, grasshopper. I can make things, but it's a lot more difficult than it used to be to come up with an idea, and my ideas so far have been pretty but not OMG LOOK AT THAT. It's a struggle. And in all that Instagram and Facebook and YouTube skimming, I see so many stunning talents and it all kind of makes my mind boggle.
I sit at my desk and stare at all the beads. I pick up one, then another, put them down, dig out more, drop a few (I'm always dropping things) and before I know it I'm drowning in all the supplies but no plan and no ideas.
Ever have that happen?
In the past this would upset me. And yeah, sometimes it does bother me, to be honest. But even though I'm struggling a bit, I still enjoy sitting down every day to bead, or to bake, or to read. I enjoy the process even if the outcome is boring or inedible. I'm getting used to burning slower so I can burn longer.
And for now, that's enough.
XO, Lori
I understand so much. I feel like I have so much I want to accomplish. I start in one direction and then another thing that I feel I need to do captures my mind and I'm off in another direction. Skittering and scattering here and there. After I left Etsy, I only sold in guild-affiliated galleries, markets, and festivals. Then it all came crashing down when I became a full-time caregiver to my mother. No more markets or festivals and my creativity waned. Only now, am I back online and beginning to feel my way forward. I keep telling myself to slow down and not worry. Perhaps it is what we both need to do. Life throws us curve balls and we have to just keep going!
ReplyDeleteMy Mind... well, that's a LOT to unpack so I won't even try. But, your Post made me Laugh and I'm glad I found your Blog via another Blogger. Finding new Blogs to read is always one of the good Dumpster Dives into the Internet... there's a lot out here to get Lost in, that's for sure.
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